He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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