Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize