yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
