he wants to bone in the snuggie
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
