Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
