a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
