By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
