Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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