Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
