In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
whose parrot is this?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So vagazzling was a success
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