Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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