I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
