weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i would punch a child for taco bell
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
