I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
