oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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