Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
