Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
