I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize