can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
