wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize