What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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