She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
my poor anus
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
