Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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