I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
