Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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