Screwed.edu
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
