Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize