You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
