That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
