Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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