me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
