i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
