She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
