SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just high enough for therapy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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