just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize