For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
