I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
