You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
