Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
