I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
