I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
