If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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