How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize