You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
