remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
