Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
