just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize