I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
