Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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