I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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