Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Holy shit dude........stairs
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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