This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
