did you get engaged???
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
