My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
