You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
