His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
