At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
