At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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