I'm really into asian looking animals
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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