well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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