My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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